What I enjoy most about sewing is being able to use my imagination to shift my personal world. I’ve always been drawn to nature and magic, but I never knew how to express it until I started sewing. I love big bold prints, novelty focal points, florals, and metallics. Prints that take me out of this world for a second remind me of a place that’s safe. I can pretend for a minute. For just a little bit, I can go somewhere else in my head where the world doesn’t seem like it’s crumbling down.
I feel like I can be myself when I get to sew with the fabric I choose. Of course, I’m nowhere near an expert at this time. I wish I could make my own clothes, but for now I’m making patchwork bags. It will be an accessory that would motivate me to plan an outfit and to get out of a funk.
During the pandemic, it’s been hard to cope. After losing my dad in January 2020, I have been in a major depression. Most days I’m barely functioning and completing basic tasks. Yes, it’s been two years, but I’m still grieving. I’m a librarian so part of my job is working with the public. I can’t afford to be tired. I have to be on time, show up, and be present. I’m expected to still smile even when I don’t feel like smiling, and I need energy to move and work on projects. I also need an attitude that’s positive, but I’m falling short in most of those departments lately.
Crafts of all types were my comfort, but for many months, I couldn’t craft. Many of you know that depression takes all of your energy. If you suffer from anxiety then you also know that it makes everything so much harder. You can’t get out of your own head to get things done. I still haven’t given up on my crafts because at the end of the day it’s one of the few positive outlets I have in a world of uncertainty in pandemic life.
I’m in the process of making patchwork bags. I started late Spring 2021. It was all inspired by this pattern from the National Quilter’s Circle. I came across a video titled, How to Make a Tote Bag Using Charm Packs. The pattern is called Bring Your Own Bag by Whistlepig Creek Productions. You can purchase the pattern here:
At the beginning, it seemed like I wouldn’t run into any problems until I started using the wrong interfacing, and then I was having all types of problems. When working on bags, it’s very important to follow instructions, especially on interfacing. I think my interfacing was a little too stiff. I decided that fusible fleece and quilting batting would work best for these sort of projects.
I kept charging ahead even though my first patchwork bag didn’t look anything like the finished pattern. It was a challenge getting to any type of finish line because my energy levels were so low. I hated that I was making so many mistakes. But, I came back to myself and I said, “it’s been a while since I made anything. Starting over again can be a challenge. Of course, you aren’t going to always get it on the first try, and that’s ok.”
For many months, I hid the project in my closet though. I decided that I didn’t like it all. I knew where all my mistakes were and I knew others would be able to pick them out. I was disappointed.
But, I finally gave the bag a good look and thought to myself. “I made that bag no matter how imperfect. It’s my bag.” I decided to take a picture with the bag and for the first time in a while, I felt very beautiful. I felt like I was magical or I like I was a healer of some sort. I felt like I was here to do good on earth.
And, I bet you are wondering how I got all of that from a piece of fabric. It was something about the doves and the brightly colored flowers that shifted my attitude. In that moment, I didn’t feel like the girl who was barely functioning at work. I suddenly felt empowered and ready to shift my perspective.
The fabric is designed by Melody Miller, and it is called Rise. That’s a beautiful and inspiring title for someone who spends a lot of days just getting back up.
Sunflowers and Green Tea 